Laid Off From Work? Here’s How to Build Resilience During Uncertain Times
Nothing really prepares you to hear the word “layoff,” but in 2009 at the height of the last recession, I heard it loud and clear. It shook me to my core. It took time to process. When you lose your job it suddenly feels like the rug had been pulled out underneath you and you are falling in slow motion just to land on your face.
In addition to losing a steady income, I quickly found out the universe wasn’t quite done with me. Three months after I lost my job and had made the last payment on my car loan, a Chevy pick-up truck pummeled into my car at a stop sign and totaled it.
No job. No car. No money. No direction. And new back pain.
It was the first time I came face-to-face with uncertainty in the most dramatic fashion. It was a constant feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
During this time as we all face our generation’s biggest time of uncertainty – a global pandemic and looming recession – it immediately brings me right back to 2009. For a lot of you, this might be the first time facing uncertainty of this magnitude. Having your life turned upside down in a matter of days is not for the faint of heart. It can magnify the feelings of doom and gloom by tenfold.
But despite all of this, I learned there are glimmers of hope even in the darkest moments. It is hard to imagine this in the eye of the storm, but it is here where you build resilience.
Resilience is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” When you get knocked down it is resilience that props you back up to your feet. When you shed a few tears, it is resilience that prompts you to wipe them away and walk tall. When the world crashes around you, it is resilience that allows you to ride the waves and stay hopeful.
So, how did I survive 2009? By letting the bad, the ugly and the darkness make me more resilient so that I could have a new set of armor to help me again in times like these. Here’s what I learned.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve and Process
The first thing that happened when I lost my job was that I felt paralyzed and in a state of shock. As the days went by with no alarm clock going off, shock slowly turned to grief. Grief for the loss of routine, the loss of stability, the loss of what I considered my “normal.”
It is important to give yourself time to grieve and process what has happened. That uncomfortable feeling needs to set in, let it. As I found myself jobless and carless I grieved for the workplace I loved and let myself process that loss by noting the lessons I learned and the skills I acquired.
Processing involves acknowledging the good things and knowing even though they are gone, there are parts that will stay with you forever that will serve you a purpose for the rest of your life. There are lessons that will give you more perspective and allow you to see things in a new light.
As you grieve what is gone you will recognize often times there is an epiphany. You learn more about what you value, what you want more of in your life and what you want to do next time around differently. These are valuable gems you cannot miss during dark times.
When you lose, you also win. By allowing yourself time to be sad and disappointed you will allow yourself space to rebuild without the baggage of what was so that you can embrace what is to be. Resist the urge to let things unfold. Grieve and process, and know every loss serves a purpose even if it is hard to see that while you navigate your new reality.
Let Go of Your Grip and Accept
When our lives shift gears, the instinct is to have a tighter grip on any sense of normalcy from the past. But the reality is once you have processed and grieved the loss, letting go of that grip is essential to building more grit.
The day I had to pick up my belongings from my totaled car I tried to grab the license plate even though it was in shambles. I decided I would let go of my grip and accept it was gone. It was a replaceable object and with that perspective, I understood quickly what was truly important – moving on.
Keep Hope Alive
When you experience a shift in life and are confronted with a reality like the one we are currently in, try to remember this quote I love “accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.”
Often times I found the stress I was confronted with during 2009 was brought on by a lack of hope in the midst of chaos.
It is critical to search deeper for the meaning and messages hidden in trivial moments. There are always there. We’ve all heard countless stories of loss that have led to greater gains. That type of hope should always be part of your toolbox in life.
Hope for a better job, a better life experience and a better understanding of how to navigate difficulties in the future. Understanding that the current state of affairs is exercising a muscle that will help you be more resilient in the future.
Sit Still
In 2009, I sat still. Much of it came from the feeling of paralysis and helplessness you feel in a national recession. Like a lot of people, I had no choice but to sit still. It was uncomfortable, it was anxiety-inducing but it was also transformative.
When you have grieved your losses, accepted your new reality and maintain hope for the future you are subconsciously opening up yourself and your mind for new things and a new chapter.
This is what happened to me. Although I took a hit financially and emotionally I let the experience build up my resilience by transforming the fear of the future to hope for the future.
Yes, there would a new job. Yes, there can be a new car. Yes, I can still go on to do bigger and better things.
Today, as we all are mandated to sit still let these difficult times do the same for you. Take this time to reassess where you and where you want to be when this pandemic is over. Have hope for a better tomorrow, because when you are stripped of everything else that is all we have left to carry us forward. Know that there is in fact always a light at the end of the tunnel and you always come out a bit more resilient than when you entered it.