We look like them. We laugh like them and in many cases we love like them. Our mothers and motherly figures taught us how to be women and the lessons we learned from them are ones we have the pleasure of passing along to our children. 

This week we spoke with five career women to see what lessons have stuck with them over the years from the women they call mommy. Here is our interview 1 of 5 featuring Jessica Ayers.

Jessica Ayers 
Austin, Texas
Content Strategist/Digital Storyteller, J Nicole Creative Agency

What are some of the greatest lessons your mom taught you growing up? 

Growing up my mom taught me how to love without restraint, to live life in the moment, and enjoy the good things while they last.

What lessons have stuck with you over the years? 

Of those lessons, I believe the lesson of loving people without restraint is the one that has stuck with me the most. My mom has an incredible gift of abundant giving—whether that be through her time, talent, energy, or resources. To the untrained eye, it seems inevitable that well from which she gives would run dry but it just doesn’t. Growing up, it was amazing having the mom that gives so much. My friends would love spending the night or going to the store with us because my mom would take care of them as if they were her own. She’d buy them things, cook special meals for them and make them feel like part of the family. As an adult, my perspective of her gift changed when I realized that she was sacrificing her own well-being in order to help others. Her ability to give abundantly is truly a gift from God and just like any gift, if used improperly can work to one’s detriment instead of good. While I see the gift, I also help her to exercise wisdom and sound judgment in using her gift to help ensure that she’s giving from her overflow and pouring from an empty cup.

Now that you’re a mom yourself do you ever find yourself repeating the same things to your child that your mom said to you as a kid? 

Ha! All the time! The ones I think I repeat the most are. “Clean this stuff up!” and “Do you have McDonald’s money?” I also finally understand her frustration when she would come home after a long day of working and didn’t want to be bombarded with questions like “What are we going to eat?” It’s like bruh…can you give me a minute?? I feel that to my core these days.

How has becoming a mom changed your perspective of your upbringing? 

Being a mom has helped me to understand that my mom was truly just doing the best she could and raising me the only way she knew how. There is no roadmap to parenting. Every child is different and there’s no manual on how to raise that specific child. The best we can do is the best we can do. I have so much more empathy for parents as a whole.

What lessons from your mom have you instilled in your child?

The lesson I want to instill in my child that my mom instilled in me is individuality. My mom has always danced to the beat of her own drum and so have I. It’s my deepest desire for my son to do the same. I love it when he wants to do something crazy with his hair or has a new style he wants to wear his clothes. Right now, he’s into wearing two different shoes when he plays basketball. It makes me so happy to see him expressing himself the way he chooses to, and I pray he never loses that.

View more life lessons from the Women Who Made Us! Lessons That Paid Us!